Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
