how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
