where am i from again
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
