You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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