And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
