planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
