When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
