Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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