thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize