Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
