No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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