3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
