when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My first STD was from a foam party
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
