Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
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he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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