Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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