Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
