Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize