I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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