I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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