Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and you said cock pushups were impossible
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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