ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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