You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
