yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
