so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
