She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
