we have pet lesbian snakes
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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