this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
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i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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