Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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