I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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