piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
