how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
