I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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