Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
