It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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