She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
