can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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