I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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