i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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