i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
