Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
