which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm always down for nudity.
Help. Why am I so naked?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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