guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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