does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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