At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
