If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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