Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Acid is not a monday night drug
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize