Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
