smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
