You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
