And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
