I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
