I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
