maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
