I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
