Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
