it was like his penis was on wheels.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
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I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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