Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
