SEEEEXXX PLEASE
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
