I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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