if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
