2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
